what to say when someone shares something personalwhat to say when someone shares something personal

It means remaining open to what they have to say, letting them share however much they feel comfortable with. What can I do to fix this?, Youre the most intriguing people in this room. ", Sharing their own reactions: "I'm so sorry, "I'm so angry," "I feel so helpless; I wish there was something I could do," or even "I don't know what to say. Loss is hard. Or is there another film that really speaks to you on a personal level because of something really difficult in life that you have gone through? are not protected by an attorney-client privilege and are instead governed by our Privacy Policy. Did you get them from your mom or dads side?, I really like your tattoo. But the film itself is deeply meaningful just as it is. Over the last few weeks since the films release, I've been following along as various reviewers and viewers have shared their thoughts. This link will open in a new window. What kind of music are you into?, I feel really drawn to you. This will make them feel seen, show that youre interested in talking to them, and give them a topic to share. Usually, they just stumble around their words because they didnt expect to be challenged. The most important thing you can remind yourself when youre not sure what to say is that you dont have to say the perfect or right thing. When a guy shares something personal about himself, know that he trusts you. It doesnt have to be wordy or sophisticated., Is there anything I can do to support you?. Similar to remind as above would be Instead of jumping into a conversation thats getting personal, they may hesitate too long and lose out on the opportunity to connect. All rights reserved. Alternatively, you can compliment them if they are doing a great job. You can acknowledge the situation and express your concern by saying the following: "I'm so sorry for your loss." It doesn't appear to hold itself out to be a comprehensive effort at education, awareness, or advocacy. If they dont start talking, keep reading for more ideas. Part of HuffPost News. So thank them for doing it. Avoid saying anything that might trigger a deeper emotional wound or demonstrate that you dont care. In other words, I saw all of the elements that comprise a journey towards real, authentic recovery. Try saying: The modern-day dating game isnt always easy to demystify, but the science of flirting points to one major formula you can use when you feel tongue-tied in front of a crush: Compliment them + ask a question. A future conversation may be a more appropriate time to share what happened to you. Thank you. Still, you must understand that they are probably doing this because of their trust issues, attachment style, past relationship trauma, or fear of confrontation. 1. Their communication vanishes. Kindness and compassion Compassion means a desire to alleviate suffering Often well-meaning intentions have a negative impact. When I was younger, I had an imaginary friend called ___.

Keep it brief, refocusing on the trauma survivor, Means added. Your stories are honored and respected, just as they are and for all that they are. Most dating experts recommend not texting anything after being ghosted. What is your reaction when you hear or witness someone else sharing their personal story? We need a little time to just feel hurt without having to get over it or do something about it right away. And even if your loved one isnt sure what they need right now, checking in this way demonstrates that you care and are willing to help however you can, Makepeace said. Maybe you would feel scared or sad. As a couples bonds deepen, they are continually testing how much, and in what areas, they can self-disclose. Our online classes and training programs allow you to learn from experts from anywhere in the world. Following up with them via text only takes a few moments and it will mean a lot to the person. Wait too long, though, and you could seem distant, remote, and standoffish. WebHere are 8 tips to be empathetic to our friends, colleagues and family. Most states have laws limiting your ability to publish private facts about someone and recognizing an individual's right to stop you from using his or her name, likeness, and other personal attributes for certain exploitative purposes, such as for advertising goods or services. This link will open in a new window. Still, almost everyone gets rejected at some point in their life. Some narcissistic people are programmed to be inert in relationships. Here are some ideas of things to say in different scenarios you may find yourself in during an interview or in your workplace. People love talking about their pets. Try something like, As your friend, Im always here to listen and support you. We want someone to acknowledge how badly we are hurting and allow us to be just as we are without needing or expecting us to feel better. I can help you find a therapist who specializes in this area if youre interested..

Here are another 62 Ways to Politely End a Conversation in ANY Situation. If youre meeting someone for the first time, dont pretend to be perfect. What to say when someone is irritating you, What to Say When You Dont Know What to Say in Romantic Situations, 22. But slowly, with my mentor's help, I learned how to use tools like meditation and yoga and journaling to help make the recovery journey more bearable and meaningful. The best conversationalists dont know it all, they are curious. In any new relationship, figuring out the right amount to self-disclose can feel like walking near a dangerous precipice: Show your feelings too soon, and you run the risk of seeming inappropriate, if not desperate.

If you think your friend could benefit from talking to a mental health professional, you can gently suggest the idea of therapy. People can build strong relationships by becoming better listeners and improving communication. WebAnswer (1 of 5): Thanks for asking. Very few of us are capable of jumping right in and objectively looking at our painful situations. 10. Use I statements to ensure that you are only expressing your perspective. What to say if someone expresses feelings for you (and you dont share them), 23. Before we can listen to advice or even hear that everything will be OK, we must be acknowledged. If you're a beginner who wants to try your hand at saying Happy Passover in Hebrew, you can start by saying " Happy Pesach ," which is the Hebrew word for Passover. Whether youre tongue-tied, nervous, or having a brain fart, knowing what to say in uncomfortable conversations is an important social skill. I love you so much, too., I dont think I can express how much I love you., Thank you for loving me. If someone has shared great news with you, share their excitement by asking details. With these words, youre unintentionally implying that they should actually be grateful for how things turned out rather than recognizing their suffering. forms. Telling someone that it could have been worse not only denies their need for this recognition, but if theyre experiencing sadness or resulting trauma, can compound feelings of shame.. Try saying: Everyone faces sickness, from a passing cold to a severe illness at some point in life. This is a very warm, but casual way to open up a new friendship. When someone youre dating randomly pulls out the L word, it can often leave you frozen. Where did you get it?, I really put a lot of thought into this. I really like your [related item or attribute] as well., You are so sweet/kind! Though you may be cringing internally, these are crucial moments for exuding kindness, confidence, and charisma. If they do want to know more about your experience, it can still be smart to kick off with a disclaimer like, Im not sure how true this is for you, but I find. If youre not going to reach out to them or make plans, simply bid them farewell and go on your way. If you want to sound a little more formal, you could use something like I (really) appreciate your comment/response. Pick one or two sayings for each scenario that resonate with you and make them your own. WebAnswer (1 of 21): Its hard. Whether they are sad, angry, frustrated, disappointed, or hurt, emotional validation is one of the most important things you can give them. The good old days of asking, Will you go out with me? seem gone. Its important to accept that there usually isnt a quick or obvious solution to helping others heal, Makepeace said. The list included here contains all-too-common responses someone might give in the face of someone's suffering or conflict. This is a good one to have at the ready anytime somebody takes time to meet with you. If someone shares the news that they are getting married to their lover, you can say: When someone shares positive news, it is the perfect opportunity to celebrate their achievements and join in on the positive energy. Plus, its not really your place to try to make sense of their suffering. This will definitely make your new friend feel special, and hopefully, they will look forward to seeing you again. Day after day, year after year, I fought like a dog for my right to live, mostly still in silence and secrecy. I'm a firm believer that you can't change the way an adult acts but you can change the way a child acts when they become an adult. In the reciprocal condition, they were instructed to engage in back-and-forth self-disclosure during two interactions12-minute Skype conversations. This link will open in a new window. Consider, too, that you might be the first person theyve opened up to so far. But it is also a big test of your emotional intelligence. Im worried about you. How Accurately Do Narcissists Perceive Their Partners? WebNo, don't do it. Empathy can also look like a sad, caring or compassionate look on your face.

This link will open in a new window. 2009 - 2023 MindBodyGreen LLC. Try this one instead of offering cliche responses such as, Im sorry or theyre in a. What to say when your significant other is upset, 25. 51. We all always need one more story of recovery to inspire us. Then use this information to formulate your response. Letting someone know that youre sorry, care, and are willing to help can be powerful and provide much-needed acknowledgment and support. Here are some simple Love + Feathers + Shells + Recovery + Life, Published in 2009, "Beating Ana" shares my personal recovery story from anorexia and bulimia as well as many insights about how mentoring can be a great support to someone who is struggling to heal. This is the best news Ive heard all day!, 13. If youre passionate about it, that will show through even if others arent into sport. If someone openly insults you, the shame, embarrassment, or awkwardness of the situation can make it hard to know what to say back. Saying the perfect thing will always be out of reach. They could be important professional or personal contact in the future! I like how you do X, but I am unsure how to respond to you when you do Y., So, whats the craziest thing youve ever done?, I tried to be normal once worst two minutes of my entire life., I like to be an example for others. You can always follow this up with offers of support or, 6. Its a good idea to have a few phrases in your back pocket that you can use when the time presents itself. Common humanity 3. During my work with MentorCONNECT in particular, I often saw on a daily basis that, when this key moment occurs, it must be handled with great respect and care. Just need to stop making it about you. The only thing that matters is that it is told. The "liking" scores in the reciprocal condition were higher than in the non-reciprocal condition. Social scientists have found that expressing a compliment provides just as much joy for the compliment giver as it does for the recipient. And if he has been using something of yours, you certainly can ask that it now If you need to end a relationship, its much kinder to say something directly than nothing. WebAnswer (1 of 14): When someone wrongs you, there is no excuse or justification that can un-wrong it. But I didn't see any of this when I watched "To the Bone." Its a good idea to have a more in-depth conversation until the person has come down a little from their initial excitement. What to say if someone just had a baby, 11. Its always good to hide any non-joyous feelings that may come up for you whether its doubt, concern, or even a touch of envy. It doesn't seem to be made specifically for family members, professionals or even sufferers. When you are in the depths of a serious disease like an eating disorder, all of life itself is potentially triggering. The clues you receive from your self-disclosing acquaintances and friends can guide your behavior with them. Falling back in love with your partner requires a combination of emotional openness, vulnerability, and active effort to reconnect. I support [insert sports team]and have done since I was [insert age]. Self-disclosure is also integral to the study of intimacy. Its easy to feel like you know whats best for the person when they open up to you about the problems about why they treat you that way. Example: Questioner: So, how much does your job pay? You: Actually, Id appreciate any investment tips you might have. The pause will always feel longer in your head than it actually is. I am so sorry., 10. Have you started planning the wedding yet?, Thats amazing! Its OK normal even if you cant find the right words and arent exactly sure how to respond. Chances are you've heard them, or have even said them, before. Dont spend another day living in the dark. I am so excited for you! Simple and to the point let them know how excited you are for Being. They will be there, waiting patiently, until we are ready to address them. Its a good idea to talk about an accessory rather than their appearance so it doesnt come off as creepy or send the wrong message. All your hard work is paying off! Thank you so much., Listen, I need to let you know that [behavior] makes me feel [emotion]., Honestly, I get really irritated when you [irritating behavior]. We believe reflecting on our mortality can help us lead more meaningful lives. If someone shares that they are trying to overcome a health issue, its important to express sympathy and, if you can offer support: It can be hard to know what to say if someone is having a hard time or feeling down. Being curious is a great way to respond in a way that takes the pressure off of saying the right thing. Its up to the survivor how they ultimately make meaning out of their trauma., Wow, that seems like a lot. However, it can be important and be part of the healing process to understand why that person wronged you and the reasoning and mentality that went into making that decision. If you dont know what to say, try responding: When your partner is upset, you can feel at a loss for words. We want different things, so maybe we should break up., Im sorry, but this isnt working between you and me. Thanks for noticing., Wow, that totally made my day! This simple and straightforward sentence is often the best because you're not trying to give solutions or offer unsolicited advice, you're just addressing the fact. These findings, which took place in a virtual face-to-face situation, present interesting dilemmas for people trying to forge new online relationships. Follow me on Twitter @swhitbo for daily updates on psychology, health, and aging. Taking turns: Reciprocal self-disclosure promotes liking in initial interactions. Whew. But it makes the other person feel you weren't actively listening to them. The story of how they met is sure to be fascinating, and you can ask lots of follow-up questions to get to know them better. When were kids, parents warn us of stranger danger, but as adults, you have to talk to strangers nearly every day at work, coffee shops, parties, and out in public. What goes on behind closed doors is not nearly as appealing as things appear. "To the Bone," like my own story, is simply one woman's story. Try saying: Humor is scientifically proven to make you more likable.

A promotion. I would love to know more about you., Do you want to grab a coffee with me tomorrow morning?, What do you think about taking our dogs to the park this weekend?, You mentioned you love [a band/movie/hobby]. What to say when you want to be funny, 18. Curiosity is a wonderful attribute for good conversation. This ad is displayed using third party content and we do not control its accessibility features.

Im rooting for you!, Yay! What to say if someone is getting married, 12. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. I want to hear everything., I completely understand why you would feel that way, and Im really sorry youre upset. Say what you are apologizing for and then pause to leave space and time to listen to their response. What to say when someone compliments you, 21. Giving you a hug, embrace, placing an arm around you, or holding your hand. There are many situations in life where you may find yourself caught off guard and at a loss for words. Simple and to the point let them know how excited you are for them and get all the details. I had found a mentor. How do you approach somebody and start a conversation without feeling awkward or creepy? I hope you feel better soon., Here is a video/tea blend/recipe that helped me a lot when I was feeling similar symptoms last year., Hey, I heard you are feeling under the weather, so I ordered some supplements to send your way. If you are sharing, you are glad to give things away to others. What to say when someone shares the good news, What to Say When Making Friends and Professional Contacts, 14. It must be honored for what it is and for all that it is, with a great effort to resist receiving it with anything other than a "thank you for being willing to become vulnerable and open up to share your personal story with us.". Below, we asked trauma therapists to share the phrases to avoid when someone tells you their trauma story and what to say instead. This is a sincere, but not over the top way to thank your colleague, boss, or client for their help with something. You can say: If someone is pleased with good news, avoid negative comments or criticism immediately. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. The film doesn't dig deeply enough into the underlying reasons why the main character developed anorexia or give any kind of "behind the scenes" look at the mechanics of treatment and therapy. Where did you get it?, I meant to tell you I enjoyed your presentation on [topic] yesterday. New research examines emerging trait-based approaches to personality disorder.